Alright, so I think I decided what I’m gonna do with my blog now.
Sure, There’s probably quite a few blogs about models out there but I still wanna share my story and how I got here…
So back in August on 2013, I was in my local shopping mall and there were these little stands with little signing boxes bolted to the thing with the advertisement “Audition America” and “Your Dream Starts Here”. I had seen them for a few months prior, but when I was walking around the mall with my boyfriend, Fred, He told me that I should write down my information and put it in the box…. he even took a picture of me up on the stage cause he thought it would be funny.
He even told me “I honestly did not think that they would call you because there were so many other applicant paper sheets in the boxes, But you had nothing to lose by it.”
I mean, hell, *I* didn’t even think I would get a call, but a month later when they did call me and said they wanted to see me, I was in awe and I was so excited. I couldn’t wait.
After passing the initial “first round”, where they had you dress-to-impress and walk the runway, they weeded out the ones with potential from the ones without any (not to sound rude, but, hey, some got it, some don’t), I and about a hundred other people were welcomed into the second round. The second round consisted of a Photoshoot (that cost 150 dollars in total), and they judged you based on your ease of being in front of a camera, your personality in the pictures, and if you were photogenic or not…. Here’s a picture from that.
Some pictures came out better than others. If I had had makeup on, it would have been ALOT better, unfortunately.
After that, I thought “wow, this is real. This is actually happening, I really could be a model from this!” and I started doing more to make myself physically look like a model and so I would feel better about myself going out in public, because I was never the prettiest or the most graceful and I had no idea what to do with my hair and I hadn’t the slightest clue of what to do with makeup.
All my family had always told me I should be a model and, well, here I am. It’s a lot more fun and rewarding than I thought it would be.
Anyway, after they weeded through the photoshoot winners, we were called back for a fashion/talent show. We were given “Audition America” shirts, free of charge, and the talent scouts there said to “make it our own” and to personalize it however we wanted.
The female talent scout there thought I had major potential and loved my figure and height and gave me the nickname “miss high-fashion” because she had repeatedly said I could be a high-fashion model. I think her name (or the name she told us) was “Miss Queenie” and She had dark skin and short dark hair, she always wore eye-catching rings and bracelets and very very high heels. It was obvious she was a model previously because of how she worked the runway and her stage presence. “Stay here at the end of it all, I wanna see you walk.” she said. So I did. I waited till everyone had received their pictures and shirts and she waved me to the back of the stage. I had thought we would just walk behind the stage to perfect my walk, but No. She walked up the steps to the small runway in her rather large heels and told the DJ to put on some music. “Alright, go”, I was hesitant, but gave it my best shot. I wasn’t very good. I swung my hips too much and i was too stiff. She made it light and fun and told me to just have fun with it, but dont twirl my hips too much and just let loose. If she caught me doing something a runway model would never do, She would call me out on it, sometimes when I’d be halfway down the runway and I would stop promptly, spin around on one foot and penguin waddle back to the base of the stage by her to try again. She had a good laugh at my antics when I would mess up. Whenever I made a mistake or faltered, I tried to be silly to make up for messing up, which, probably didnt help things, but everyone had a good time laughing at me… Even people walking by in the mall stopped to watch me walk the runway. As people started to wander around me, both strangers and fellow participants, I began to think to myself “wow, they’re looking at me, they’re noticing me. I’m not invisible anymore.”
We did about a dozen runway walks and then they closed up shop and the crowd slowly started to disappear, myself being among them.
The day came for the fashion/talent show and I was nervous…. Really nervous… I personalized my shirt and made it a crop-top and put on some skinny jeans and my spikey boots that were one size too small and a red bandanna rolled up into a headband around my slightly poofy and pulled back hair.
I put my song on a CD and had practiced it for days beforehand. I was going to sign. Not sing, but sign in american sign language the song “Daughters” by John Mayer that I had translated for my ASL class in the spring before this event.
3 of my friends showed up, my grandparents, and my mom came to this and there were too many people in this one little area to count. I stood in line for about an hour and handed in my CD for them to play when it was my turn. I stood around talking most the time to calm my nerves. Everyone was telling me how proud they were of me and how great of a chance I have and how lovely I looked. I put on a smile but I was terrified inside. I thought “What if I fuck up, what if they dont like me, What if I trip on the runway, What if my CD doesnt work?”
I tried not to think those things, but I must have jinxed myself because my CD wasn’t working. and I found myself just a couple spots away from presenting my talent. I was freaking out and shaking. I couldn’t think straight and I didn’t know what to do. My friend offered to sing the song for me to sign. I thought it was a horrible idea but I had no choice. Her singing was flat and not very good, but gladly, no one paid much mind to that, they just watched me sign. I was making large movements with my hands and arms like my teacher had taught me and I was keeping up with the song. I had only 45 seconds to perform it, and thankfully I didn’t mess up once and everyone cheered. I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. The talent part was over. Now, for the walk. A guy about my age who was helping the other participants along pointed me in the right direction and, once again, stood in another line to get ready to walk. I didn’t have to wait very long until they called me to walk the runway. I walked up the stage, staring at my feet the entire time to make sure I didn’t trip somehow, moving aside for the other girl who had just taken her walk and I stood at the back and looked out to the crowd for a second and then took my first steps down the runway. I was scared inside, but I put on a serious face and made them think I knew what I was doing… I guess it worked because everyone clapped and my family shouted from stage left.
Walking back to my friends and family, I was congratulated with hugs all around. We stayed to watch a few more people walk and then went on our way home. It was late, and the mall was closing, We almost got locked in (and out) of Dillard’s on the way to the parking lot.
I waited through September, and then, right when I thought I hadn’t made it, I got a packet in the mail. October 27th telling me I was one of the contract winners. I was given instructions on how to order model cards and such, and Then I’d be official. On November 12th, the B&W cards, Model casting cards, and model ID cards came in the mail. I promptly sent off the requested amount of cards and the signed contract off to the agency and my account was activated within a few weeks.
I’ll be posting more about my recent photoshoot and such things in the near future.
So for now, I’ll leave you with a side-by-side transformation (4 years difference between the pictures)
Its amazing what a difference 4 years, makeup, a gym membership, and a modelling contract makes.
I can’t believe I’ve made such a difference. I never thought I could do this because the oh-so-low self-esteem issues I had (the story to that will be in my next blog post).
So, all that being said, don’t be afraid to follow your dream and be what you want just because someone says you can’t. Words are powerful, but if someone says you can’t, prove them wrong. It’s so rewarding when you do something that someone told you for years you couldn’t do.